Dependence can be different. Someone cannot imagine their life without extreme sports. To get the next dose of adrenaline, a person does base jumping or parkour, regularly conquers the next mountain peak or dives in the open sea. There are people who become slaves to their passion. For example, alcohol or drugs can completely change your personality, distort the true meaning of life. Work is also able to completely subjugate, and workaholism is a serious dependence.
A bit of history
The American psychologist W. Oates was unlikely to suggest that the playful-frivolous word “workaholic” coined by him would become so popular.
He used it for the first time in one of his books in 1971.
With the light hand of this religious preacher the word "workaholism" has become a scientific term and even got into one of the most famous dictionaries in the world - the Oxford English Dictionary.
Where do they live and how do they differ
There are more and more people obsessed with work. Traditionally, people in Asian countries work hard.
South Korea, Japan and Thailand often fall on the first lines of various ratings of countries with a large number of workaholics.
In the tops of the most working, you can find residents of the United States, Mexico and Russia. The likelihood of meeting and establishing a serious relationship with a workaholic is constantly increasing, especially in large megacities.
Not everyone is ready to connect their lives with a tireless worker, so I want to recognize him as soon as possible. At first, the workaholic creates the impression of a person who is just lucky to do what he loves. Gradually, character traits that can annoy and even make others nervous.
- Excessive pursuit of excellence.
Healthy perfectionism is a good thing. But among workaholics, the desire to be the best is more like a manifestation of the disease. They aim to fulfill what others cannot afford. And do it. True, when an unattainable peak is submitted, the tasks change. There is no limit to perfection, and workaholics in the pursuit of the ideal do not have time to enjoy life. They behave this way not only in work. Often in relationships they see many reasons for discontent.
- Constant thoughts about work.
A workaholic is sure that spending time on fun, empty talk or relaxing on the couch is stupid and pointless. Why do you need fishing or a romantic walk in the spring park? Indeed, you can spend precious hours thinking about the details of tomorrow’s report or studying additional information on a working draft. One must be prepared for the fact that he will choose a job, not sex, watching a new movie or going to a restaurant.
- Detachment from reality.
It may turn out that a person devotes little time to his appearance, living conditions, nutrition, and everyday life. Sometimes it’s difficult to come to terms with this attitude. For example, if a loved one works hard, but does not require a decent reward for his work.
- The tendency to loneliness.
A workaholic will not necessarily be a hermit. But such people often have few friends. They usually do not seek communication and direct all their energy toward achieving their goals.
- Guilt.
Work hard because you feel obligated or guilty? Sometimes this also happens. A husband is always ready to help his ex-wife fix a leaking tap. A friend sits with strangers every day when their mother goes to the gym. Need to stay overtime instead of a sick colleague or urgently make a report for the boss? A workaholic involuntarily will not refuse anyone. Such an ideal assistant is considered a wonderful person, because he is always ready to do someone else's job. Even to the detriment of their interests.
Why become workaholics? Perhaps the desire to be the best appeared when parents constantly compared their son with other children or did not believe in his ability.
Or work has become a way to get rid of a severe psychological shock. Maybe innate self-doubt was fueled in childhood, fostering guilt and a desire to do something for others. There are many reasons for becoming too hardworking. Character traits among job lovers can also be distinguished. But there are general principles that will help build harmonious relationships with the workaholic.
Right actions
Everyone knows that it is impossible to change the character of a person. But when it comes to the attitude to work, for some reason they are sure: you can easily switch the boisterous energy of a workaholic to another type of activity. Alas, this will not work. You just have to put up with the situation. And if there is no such desire, then it is better not to start a serious relationship.
- Want you to spend more time together? Perhaps you should find an occupation in the same field as your beloved hardworker. Then there will be an opportunity to see each other more often, there will be more common topics for conversation and the reason for unnecessary jealousy will disappear.
- Not happy that he devotes little time to domestic issues? Some of them will have to be solved independently. And also - gently indicate how you can help and always praise for your support. So the hard worker will feel that he has met an important and necessary person.
- Is there a reason for another scandal? Instead of reproaches, it is better to prepare a delicious dinner and make a tired massage for a tired hard worker. And the need to go to your mother’s birthday, to buy a new fur coat or to buy a modern vacuum cleaner is better said later, when he rests.
For a workaholic, there is no greater happiness than tirelessly doing business. So let him make new labor feats and increase your material well-being. And at this time you will create comfort at home, fill your life with fresh events and impressions and enjoy personal freedom. It will be easy to be near him if the features of his life are turned into their bonuses.
Prohibited Tricks
What is strictly not recommended in relations with a workaholic:
- Criticize for working hard. This behavior will only distance you from each other. After all, about 90 percent of workaholics put their work in first place. Personal relationships, family, relaxation - they all value it less.
- Constantly demanding his attention. Want to call your loved one to work and chat? First, ask if he has time to talk. Or specify when he will have a free minute. Do you want unexpected communication? Be prepared to hear that he is very busy and cannot speak. And this is not an excuse at all, but truthful words.
- Prohibit work. Rather, a person refuses to communicate with you than from his beloved business.
- Try to reeducate. It is real to change his views on some things, but it is impossible to change his passion for work.
Is it possible to live with a workaholic? Yes, if you are ready to come to terms with your main rival - work. And you will find the strength to take steps towards your loved one, and not from him.
