Divorce - the case is unpleasant. Nerves, tears, resentment, scandals often poison the last month of marriage, even if the couple parted.
To withstand all this is not easy, but sometimes it is absolutely necessary. As a rule, more women suffer. According to statistics, they most often become the initiators of the breakup.
Reasons for Divorce may be any number. Drunkenness and drug addiction, assault and cruelty, humiliation and constant reproaches are extreme, most difficult options. Living in such conditions, especially if the family has children, is not simply impossible. This should never be done.
There are others less radical reasons officially end the marriage:
• he fell in love with another;
• she met another person;
• the husband is indifferent to his wife;
• she has ceased to feel feelings for him and is burdened by a common life.
Any of these reasons may be grounds for divorce. But what if the husband does not want to get a divorce?
The situation on the eve of a divorce if the husband does not want to divorce
Situations preceding a divorce are very different. Someone easily agrees with the spouse on the joint upbringing of children, and on the division of property, even retains the appearance of friendly relations. But this is rather an exception to the rule.
More often than not, the spouse refuses the proposal of the wife to divorce, and without hesitation in expressions. The worst thing is that, according to statistics, such a situation often arises in young families with very young children. The young woman, who at this moment is the most vulnerable and needs support as never before, finds herself in a terrible situation. The man whom she married, disappears, and his place is occupied by a boor, an alcoholic, a snapper. And this one
"Go to Mom" is not an option. From a tyrant spouse, a reverent spouse and an "indifferent neighbor" you need to not just leave. Relations with him should be officially broken. Such a life partner will poison the life of not only a woman: he will also cripple the psyche of children. The most paradoxical thing is that the husband does not want to get divorced almost always. Why?
The most common causes of failure to give a divorce from men are as follows:
• fear of condemnation by relatives. Yes, in public it can be white and fluffy, it shows concern. This is just a way to establish itself in the eyes of significant relatives. None of them know what is happening behind closed doors, and the husband hopes that he will never know;
• financial dependence on spouse;
• unwillingness to share joint property.
In the latter case, a man, even having a lover or a second family (often with children), is unlikely to go for a divorce. The husband does not want to get divorced, because he doesn’t like sharing apartments-cars-villas-yachts! But you have to. Because there is a court, and it is always on the side of a woman as the initiator of a divorce.
Didn’t work out an agreement peacefully? No problem. Here's what you need to do
The husband does not want to get divorced: where to carry his grief?
If the husband does not want to get categorically divorced, a woman can write a statement on her own and take it to court. If the decision to divorce was made amicably, the couple could easily and quickly divorce through the registry office. True, only if they do not have common minor children.
So the only option is a court. A quick divorce will not work, but you don’t need to get a spouse’s consent for a divorce. The main thing is to make a statement of claim correctly and collect the necessary package of papers.
Step One - Collect Paper:
• write a statement of claim. Without a lawyer, this is problematic, so it’s better to pay an experienced specialist who will take into account all the nuances. It is recommended that you act through a lawyer if you have something to share and young children grow up;
• pay the tax and attach the receipt of payment to the application. The tax for today is 650 rubles;
• marriage certificate;
• birth certificate of children, if any;
• a certificate from the place of registration or an extract from the house book.
The second step is to take the application and register it with the secretary of the district court. Here, too, there is a subtlety: a wife must submit an application at the place of registration of her husband, who does not want to get divorced and is called a defendant in legal language. Therefore, the name of the court in the header of the statement of claim must be filled in correctly. An exception is made if, for objective reasons, a man cannot appear in court. Then the whole package must be submitted to the judicial authorities at the place of registration of the woman (plaintiff).
The claim must be drawn up according to the approved model (the court clerk has it). In the case of property claims, they must be correctly formulated and included in the text of the statement (on the issue of legal support).
If the wife claims half of the jointly acquired property and child support, the list of papers is expanded. You will need a certificate on the valuation of property subject to division, as well as a certificate from the spouse's place of work on his earnings. Of course, if the children stay with their mother.
The husband does not want to get divorced: how long will it take?
It often happens that a man intimidates a woman who dared to ask for a divorce. Threats of physical violence should be a signal for an immediate departure. Especially if the husband had previously raised a hand to a woman or children. Upon learning that the wife has filed an application (and the subpoena will arrive in ten days), an angry man may behave inappropriately.
Well, if there is where to go, especially with children. It’s good when there is someone to protect. Parents, friends - you need to use any option to get rid of the presence of your former life partner. It is enough to give a verbal or physical rebuff to the scoundrel so that he ceases to behave too aggressively.
Sometimes a man who does not want to get divorced uses the young woman’s legal illiteracy and threatens to take her children away. This is complete nonsense! Even if a woman is on maternity leave and does not work, the court will leave the children with her, and from her husband will exact child support for the maintenance not only of minors, but also of their mother.
Having small children is not an obstacle to divorce if a woman becomes its initiator. Article 17 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation prohibits divorce if there is a child who has not reached one year of age, or when the fact of the spouse’s pregnancy is established at the time of processing the documents only if the man wants to divorce. A woman who has a baby up to a year or pregnant, can get a divorce - has every right to do so.
Remember: all rights are on the woman’s side. You just need to gain strength, courage, patience and just survive this difficult time. And you don’t have to wait much. The divorce procedure is regulated by Articles 25, 28 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation. The court will make a decision on divorce no later than two months from the date of registration of the application. This is guaranteed by Article 154 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation. For all women who are afraid of threats and cannot decide to divorce, it would be nice to get acquainted with these laws. It is very inspiring and helps to feel more confident.
A frightened woman may not tell her husband that she has filed an application, and hide the summons. This is not entirely legal, but the situation can be critical.
Divorce procedure if the husband does not want to divorce
After the plaintiff's application is registered, a subpoena will be sent to the defendant. This can be an unpleasant surprise for a man. A negative reaction can manifest itself in ignoring the court call: men simply will not come to the meeting.
This means nothing. They will scout without him. The following rule comes into effect: if the plaintiff in the divorce case does not appear at the court hearing three times, then the decision on divorce is taken without a man. The court will take into account the fact that reconciliation of the spouses is impossible, as well as further joint life.
The first meeting is held in a month. The plaintiff will be asked for what reason there was a discord in the family and whether there is a reconciliation option. If you do not want to lay out your stamp or there is no particular reason for divorce (sometimes it is impossible to stay with your husband for longer without any logical reason), then there is no need to explain anything. The law does not punish for this, but the woman’s desire takes into account.
Questions from the court will arise about alimony and property. Their decision must be described in a statement, and if they do not infringe on the decision of either party, the court will satisfy them. In some cases, the judge makes amendments, which will be reported at the meeting.
If the spouse does not appear, the consideration of the case will be postponed. If the husband does not want to get a divorce, but has come to the meeting, his arguments will be taken into account, and the court will provide a month for reflection and possible reconciliation.
If a woman for some reason changes her mind and filed a request for reconciliation, the court may decide to extend the consideration of the issue for one month. If the spouses are reconciled, the case is closed. If the conflict continues and the divorce is still relevant, the marriage is dissolved.
What's next? Three days later, the court must send to the registry office at the place of registration of marriage. The decision on divorce is issued in the hands of the plaintiff and the defendant. With this document and passport, you need to go to the registry office at the place of residence or marriage, pick up the certificate of dissolution of the marriage and put in the passport the corresponding stamp - a symbol of new life.
When is a divorce through a registry office possible?
A simplified divorce procedure through the registry office is possible if the husband is convicted of a criminal offense and is serving a sentence of three or more years. Even if the husband does not want to get a divorce, the woman in this case has the right to get freedom without trial.
To do this, she needs to pay a state duty of 350 rubles, write a statement to the registry office and attach a copy of the sentence to it. The marriage will be annulled without the consent of the spouse serving the sentence.
Other grounds for obtaining a divorce through the registry office under the simplified procedure unilaterally are:
• recognition of the husband as missing;
• recognition of the husband as legally incompetent.
In this case, there will not be any problems with a divorce unilaterally.
How to convince a husband if he does not want to get a divorce
Determination - the key to success in any business. Divorce is no exception. If it is decided that life is over, there is no need to hesitate. All reasoning like “I'll hold it until the children grow up” is just excuses, unwillingness to take responsibility, fear. How will children grow up in a family where parents do not like each other? What will their psyche become like if they daily watch their father humiliate their mother or beat them up?
Conflicts between parents adversely affect the children's psyche. Therefore, if a divorce is inevitable, and the husband does not want to divorce, then you need to decide and be the first to file an application. Or try to convince her husband to agree with his decision. Jointly submitted documents and the absence of claims against each other will greatly facilitate the matter, and the time for consideration of the case will be reduced to one month.
Listen to yourself. Do you really need a divorce? Perhaps the cause of the conflicts is constant stress, tension due to high responsibility for the family, chronic fatigue, finally? In this case, you can settle everything just by parting for a while.
Try to explain your position to your spouse. You can try to convince a husband who does not want to get a divorce, but only without tears and tantrums. He must understand: the decision to divorce was not made on emotions, it is well thought out and is the only option for a woman. Offer your husband a vision of their future communication, including options for joint parenting, property sharing. Correctness and justice will affect a decent person who is able to make adult decisions.
No need to be afraid of divorce. Even if the husband does not want to divorce, the court will always be on the side of the woman. This is a difficult time for both, you just need to survive.
